Game Changer
My battle with addiction
Has been a lot like an argument
With a stupid person
The act alone
Has the ability
To bring you down to their level
Once there
You get beat up
By their experience
I have been asked
What my 18 months of clean time
On the streets
Prior to incarceration
On pre-trial release
Means to me
The answer is
Nothing
My 18 months
On the street
Prior to incarceration
On pre-trial release
In Recovery
That is a game-changer
(Picture: Dennis celebrating one year clean)
There is a difference
Although
You must be clean
To have Recovery
Being clean by itself
Is not Recovery
Let me try to explain
I owned
This particular
Motorcycle once
It rode perfectly
Around town
I would ride it to work
Everyday
Back home
Out with friends
Pick up my lady
Go out on a date
Man I loved that bike
It was a 1994
Dyna Wide Glide
It sounded tough
It sounded mean
Everything I always wanted
It represented me
Black paint job
Red pinstripes
Bulldog decals
On each side of the tank
It had a solid chrome
FatBoy rim on the back
21-inch spoked rim
On the front
It was my prized possession
My dream come true
I spent a lot of money
On that bike
Customized frame
The perfect look
The engine
The feel
It was exactly
What I wanted
But
It never failed
Every time
I would take my bike
Out on the interstate
To head to one rally
Or another
It would break down
Every time
Each time
I would have to
Load it on a trailer
Strap it down
Pull it to the mechanics
Put it in the shop
To find out what was wrong with it
Each time
I would get my bike back
Some superficial fix done
Bike seemingly complete
Then
Once again
On the interstate
Headed to another rally
My bike breaks down
The trailer
The straps
The mechanic
The shop
The fix
Stop
Start
Play
Repeat
I don’t blame
The mechanic
I blame the process
(Picture: Dennis riding the mechanical bull at his one year clean birthday (recovery date))
If it had been a car
The engine light
Would have come on
Drive to any O’Reilly’s
Hook up the chip reader
Problem identified
Purchase part
Install
Fixed
But not my bike
Not one of the mechanics
Took the time
To take my bike
Out on the interstate
In-house testing only
Maybe
A run around the block
It ran fine for us
While it was here
They would say
Well
Life in society
Was my interstate
Handcuffs and police cars
Replace the trailer and straps
Psycho analyze
Positive Peer Culture
Group therapy
My diagnostics
A superficial fix
Then back out I go
I never have a problem
While I am in the shop
I run just fine
My problem
Is on the interstate
Take me off the interstate
Put me in the shop
No alcohol
No meth
No emotions
No responsibilities
No life
Sure
It can all be gotten
But
It holds no resemblance
To the gas station
And bar
At every exit
This distance
From the problem
Also creates
Distance to the solution
Objects in the mirror
Maybe closer
Than they appear
My bike
Always
Looked like it was ready
Felt like it was ready
Ran like it was ready
Everybody
Including myself
Thought it was ready
But
It was never ready
This time
I found my mechanics
A group of them
On the interstate
While I was riding
They rode with me
Side by side
They had experienced
The same problems I had
They had learned
How to get through them
Together
Now
They make themselves
Available
To offer
This same assistance
To others
Now seeking their help
Today
I no longer have that bike
I have a new one
I am sure
Issues will arise
In accordance
With the way I ride
The difference is
I now know
Where to go
Problems will come
Learning has to happen
Parts may need to be changed
But none of that
Requires
Me to be strapped down
And towed away anymore
There are mechanics
On the interstate
Where my problems are found
So will they be solved
Never Alone
Never Again
Dennis
