Open the eyes of my heart Lord, open the eyes of my heart Lord.
I want to see you, I want to see you.
To see you high and lifted up, shining in the light of your glory, pour out your power and love, as we sing holy, holy, holy.
“Michael, I am falling in love with you.”
“Michael, I am pregnant, we are going to have a baby.”
“I am in love with you, Michael.”
“It’s a beautiful baby girl.”
“I can’t do this, Kara.” “Yes, you can Michael, I believe in you.”
“Michael, come home.”
“I love and forgive you. Kenzie and I need you.”
“Daddy, I love you.”
“Daddy, hold my hand so I don’t fall.”
“Daddy, can I sleep with you tonight? I had a bad dream.”
“I forgive you Michael, come back home.”
“Michael, I am pregnant, we are having twins.”
“I know you’re scared. Don’t run. We can do this together.”
“Michael, come hold your new baby girls.”
“Oh daddy, I love my sisters.”
“Michael, I forgive you, come home.”
“Daddy, I missed you, please don’t leave again.”
“Come play with us, Daddy.”
“Michael, we are pregnant again.”
“Michael, I know you are going to prison for a long time. I just want you to know that we all love you. I can’t tell you what the future holds for you and me, but I can tell you that I will always answer your phone calls and bring the children to see you.”
“Dad, I want to share something with you. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I need you to know that I am really mad at you for the way you have treated mom. Also because of you I have trouble trusting and building relationships with men. I love you, Dad, but you hurt me.”
I woke up Saturday morning in a puddle of sweat.
I hate when moments from my past come for a visit.
I went straight to the shower without any thoughts of thanking God for another day.
The whole day I was angry, frustrated, and irritable. I went to sleep that night, just to wake up the next morning, in the same negative mood.
During Sunday service we start our praise with the song, Open The Eyes Of My Heart.
I closed my eyes and said, “Come on God show me you!”
At that moment my mind was flooded with memories of love. I couldn’t hold back the intense emotions I was feeling.
The tears started to flow with no control. In prison crying is not acceptable, I didn’t care, once again God showed himself to me, and I felt this surreal sense of serenity.
My heart was no longer in pain.
He showed me that I don’t have to live with the pain from my past.
God, help me to remember all of it.
From the inside,