Holly,
I am writing this letter to show how much I love you and how proud I am for all the hard work you are doing in your recovery. Your determination is above and beyond what I even expected.
The time since you have entered treatment has shown me the person that I remember. You laugh at my jokes again, you smile more, you are a happier person and above all, you are getting the tools you need to be successful with your recovery.
He gave examples of how my drinking affected our marriage, our finances, and our son.
A week before we were to get married, I was picked up for driving under the influence (DUI). My blood alcohol content was so high that the police confiscated our vehicle and charged me with a double DUI.
I spent almost a month in jail, just months after we were married. And I manipulated him into not telling my family and covering it up as if nothing had happened. If his family hadn’t helped us out financially, we would have lost our house. And I never thanked them for that.
For years he knew I was hiding my drinking. It interfered with his job because he didn’t want to leave town knowing I was drinking and home alone with our son.
The stress of hiding my problem was starting to get to Chris emotionally. His family noticed my drinking, but he always protected me and said I was getting better.
He wrote about when he’d have a hunch that I was drinking, and I would call him an asshole for the accusation. I called him psychotic when he looked for my stashes of bottles. Then, I turned it around and made him the problem. When I convinced my family that it was his fault, he felt betrayed and angry.
Then he wrote about this:
You said you were going to take Pax to the store with you.
I had a gut feeling that you were going to the liquor store so I followed you. I saw you walk into the liquor store with Pax and I walked in.You were in line to buy a bottle. I will not forget the look on your face when I walked in. You knew you were caught red-handed.I took Pax out to the car and waited. I thought you would just follow me out but you went ahead and bought the bottle anyway. I don’t know what I felt emotionally at that point. Your drinking was starting to make me numb to the actions you took.
He wrote about the time I was drinking, we fought, and I took Pax and drove to a hotel. He threatened to call the police but instead went to the hotel himself.
There you were walking in. You said that I needed to figure out what I wanted and needed to learn to trust you. Looking back I should have followed through with my threats instead of letting you slide.
He wrote about all the times we fought in front of Pax. It happened so often that he would ask if I was drinking even though he didn’t know what it meant. He only knew that “drinking” meant fighting.
It was a vicious cycle that I will never do again.Holly, you are a smart, loving, caring, and dependable person when you are not drinking. I am starting to forgive some of your actions because I know you didn’t have the power to control them then.
You do now. Please continue to make strides in your recovery so we can be a healthy and happy family.-Chris
So beautiful. Thank you for sharing your experience! Enjoy all the moments with the ones you love, the ones that are loving you through your one day at a time recovery!