Game Changer | Dennis Cockerham

My First Plug

My battle with addiction
Has been a lot like an argument
With a stupid person

The act alone
Has the ability
To bring you down to their level

Once there
You get beat up
By their experience

I have been asked
What my 18 months of clean time
On the streets
Prior to incarceration
On pre-trial release
Means to me

The answer is
Nothing

My 18 months
On the street
Prior to incarceration
On pre-trial release
In Recovery

That is a game-changer

Birthday night, clean date, i stay in treatment for the fun, recovery in action, riding the bull, having fun, staying away from drugs | Dennis Cockerham | Resilience2Reform

(Picture: Dennis celebrating one year clean)

There is a difference

Although
You must be clean
To have Recovery

Being clean by itself
Is not Recovery
Let me try to explain

I owned
This particular
Motorcycle once

It rode perfectly
Around town

I would ride it to work
Everyday
Back home
Out with friends
Pick up my lady
Go out on a date

Man I loved that bike

It was a 1994
Dyna Wide Glide

It sounded tough
It sounded mean
Everything I always wanted
It represented me

Black paint job
Red pinstripes
Bulldog decals
On each side of the tank

It had a solid chrome
FatBoy rim on the back
21-inch spoked rim
On the front

It was my prized possession
My dream come true

I spent a lot of money
On that bike

Customized frame
The perfect look
The engine
The feel

It was exactly
What I wanted

But
It never failed

Every time
I would take my bike
Out on the interstate
To head to one rally
Or another
It would break down

Every time

Each time
I would have to
Load it on a trailer
Strap it down
Pull it to the mechanics
Put it in the shop
To find out what was wrong with it

Each time
I would get my bike back
Some superficial fix done
Bike seemingly complete

Then
Once again
On the interstate
Headed to another rally

My bike breaks down

The trailer
The straps
The mechanic
The shop
The fix

Stop
Start
Play
Repeat

I don’t blame
The mechanic

I blame the process

Birthday night, clean date, i stay in treatment for the fun, recovery in action, riding the bull, having fun, staying away from drugs | Dennis Cockerham | Resilience2Reform

(Picture: Dennis riding the mechanical bull at his one year clean birthday (recovery date))

If it had been a car
The engine light
Would have come on

Drive to any O’Reilly’s
Hook up the chip reader
Problem identified
Purchase part
Install
Fixed

But not my bike

Not one of the mechanics
Took the time
To take my bike
Out on the interstate

In-house testing only
Maybe
A run around the block

It ran fine for us
While it was here
They would say

Well
Life in society
Was my interstate
Handcuffs and police cars
Replace the trailer and straps

Pscho analyze
Positive Peer Culture
Group therapy
My diagnostics

A superficial fix
Then back out I go

I never have a problem
While I am in the shop
I run just fine

My problem
Is on the interstate

Take me off the interstate
Put me in the shop
No alcohol
No meth
No emotions
No responsibilities
No life

Sure
It can all be gotten
But
It holds no resemblance
To the gas station
And bar
At every exit

This distance
From the problem
Also creates
Distance to the solution

Objects in the mirror
Maybe closer
Than they appear

My bike
Always
Looked like it was ready
Felt like it was ready
Ran like it was ready

Everybody
Including myself
Thought it was ready

But
It was never ready

This time
I found my mechanics
A group of them
On the interstate
While I was riding

They rode with me
Side by side

They had experienced
The same problems I had
They had learned
How to get through them
Together

Now
They make themselves
Available

To offer
This same assistance
To others
Now seeking their help

Today
I no longer have that bike
I have a new one

I am sure
Issues will arise
In accordance
With the way I ride

The difference is
I now know
Where to go

Problems will come
Learning has to happen
Parts may need to be changed

But none of that
Requires
Me to be strapped down
And towed away anymore

There are mechanics
On the interstate

Where my problems are found
So will they be solved

Never Alone
Never Again

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